If you stop working out and eat lots of fatty foods, you can get boobs of your own.
Sincerely, they really aren't that big of a deal
They’ve existed since the beginning of time and yet each time they get wet, cold or even pushed-up courtesy a bra, there it is- The Boner. The obsession about boobs and bust-lines in the straight male race is unrealistic, to say the least.
Have you, however, ever stopped to think that the owners of these ‘assets’ may feel differently about them? Obviously, it’s unlikely that they’d be obsessed about them and hence, I’m not implying that in any way. But the varied ranges of sizes of the boob do result in varied opinions of the boob by the female sex. It’s the golden principle of the grass being greener on the other side; wherein, the-haves and the-have-nots would gladly trade places.
REALLY! As hard as it is to believe, the ones who are, ahem, well endowed would kill to go a couple of sizes smaller. And you thought it was only the pigeon chested that drowned in their miseries of creating the illusion with humble padding and push ups. In my two decade of existence, I have failed to understand how each guy on the planet grows up with a natural fondness of the organ. Of course there’s the Freudian angle to it which elaborately traces the fondness to a male’s attachment to the mother; which I, personally, think is gross. Like, why would any self respecting female-kind be willing to participate in activities of fondling and more, knowing that she is only just filling in for the mother?
Anyway, get sick images out of your head and understand that even with the perks us women enjoy by the sheer virtue of this body part, it isn’t all heaven to own them. I completely empathize with their power to get an undue promotion at the work place but it should also be noted that it is their kind that makes the workplace more tolerable for the rest of you; while we bear with the ogling. Big or small, it is very rare that you’d find anything female that is at complete peace with her size of the chest-al region. Also, you must understand, like previously stated, that they aren’t that big a deal. You can grow yourself a pair too, you know? Man-boobs, as unworthy as they are, could probably be how you roll. Of course, you’d never have too much luck with the ladies then; but, that’s another story.
I think the obsession with the boob can be traced back to the simple fact that all men, really, secretly want to become women. It’s true! How else would you explain the ‘we-won’t-cut-our-hair-till-the-end-of-time’ rampage that each boy gets into as soon as he’s given the minutest chance?
I would like to take this opportunity to rest this case with a quote that is too precious to not be recorded:
Me: What about boobs, man?
They’re just big and jiggly
Vivek Ranjan : hmm. True.
But you know. They’re like nice and all. Nice type of jiggly.