Rickshaw Ki Samiksha

The Whackk! team was out for a high spirited night lately, and we came across this fantastic Australian couple. We had a nice time chatting with them and really hit it off. The best thing about this young mid-twenties couple is that they’re not tourists. I’d prefer to call them explorers. It is implicit in the way they travel. Wherever they go, they start from the grassroots and explore the real essence of a city. No 5 star hotels and expensive tourist sight-seeing packages for these two ‘mates’.

It made us wonder then, what would really give one an insight into a city. It could be the city’s people, its culture, its infrastructure, its night life... or its rickshaws?

 

 

Yes, rickshaws! Having lived in multiple cities myself, I can vouch for the fact a city’s rickshaw-ride can tell you the most about a city in the minimum time. Be it the language, culture, style or thinking, a simple conversation with a rickshaw-wallah while riding in his tool of trade can tell you so much. Being the judgemental pricks that we are, it made perfect fodder for us to use in a cover story of ours. And voila!

We used our extensive pan India network to carry out a mini survey about rickshaws in various cities. We asked people to rate the rickshaws in their city on yardsticks of...well, you can see the yardsticks and the results for yourself :

 


Honest Mumbai

Mumbai scores a surprising lowest on the ‘cheating capability of the driver’ yardstick. So much for all the hoopla about meter tampering and the drivers rejecting commuters! Besides this, Mumbai scores a very average score on most of the scales eventually running out with the highest total score of the lot.

Hostile Delhi

Delhi seems to have the worst rickshaws of all the cities participating. They’ve scored high scores in all negative categories. Apparently the ricks in Delhi are uncomfortable, unaffordable and the drivers are rude. Sad state of affairs, really. Delhi Rickshaw Union, listen!!!


Cheap Calcutta

Economically speaking, strictly. Kolkata seems to have the most affordable rickshaws. Also, the rickshaws ‘look like shit’, since they’ve scored the worst in ‘interior decoration’ category. But then they’re pretty cheap too. Itna paisa mein itnaich milega!

 

Perverted Cheats Chennai

If South Indian porn is any indication about the ‘tastes’ down south, then it’s not surprising that Chennai rickshaw wallahs scored so high on the perversion scale.

Rickshaws are cosy places and sitting so close to that person you so have the hots for can heat things up a little. While you are at it, remember the rick guy is totally checking you out in his rearview mirror and simultaneously swindling you off your money. Chennai drivers are excellent voyeurs-cum-swindlers!

Non-Making Out Pune

1. A lot of adolescent students.
2. Low parental supervision.
3. Horniness.
4. Inebriation.

Listed above are three things that are highly prevalent in the city of Pune. One would expect the people in a city like that to have their tongues in each other throats all the time. Unfortunately, the rickshaw guys don’t really understand the economics of demand-supply and all that jazz. Our survey results say that it is the most difficult to make out in these rickshaws and they play B-Grade Bollywood music too. Talk about mood killers.

Secure Hyderabad

The citizens of Hyderabad don’t like their rickshaws. They have been rated low on almost every aspect, except for driver perversion. That’s right. These guys keep their eyes on the road, while you ride in an highly uncomfortable, un-decorative rickshaw while they blare decent enough music.

 

But don’t let their indifference fool you, dear reader. At the end of the ride, they are totally going to steal your monies!

 

Overall ratings suggest that Chennai has the worst rickshaws while the over hyped and over media covered Mumbai rickshaws are actually the best bet across the country. So, the next time you’re riding a rickshaw in bambaaai, make sure you give the cute rickshawallah a jaadu ki jhappi.

NO?

Ey dispensary.... Bhai ne bola hug karne ka, toh HUG KARNE KAAAA!!!