Dear parents/siblings/current crush/future girlfriend(s?) - please don’t judge. This article and the various analysis and findings are the result of extensive research done over a period of few days.
Watching porn is an enjoyable activity for most people. But sometimes you can come across disturbing things such as mallu porn with the hairy and fat uncles and aunties in them getting down and dirty. If you curl up and cry yourself to sleep after watching that, nobody will call you a pussy.
Reading porn too can be quite an interesting and enjoyable experience. For the uninitiated, there are sites on the internet dedicated to erotic literature and have quite the following. Go to your browser’s private mode and google for them. I ain’t giving links.
The stories vary from normal fantasies and real stories to stories about aliens and mind control and all that. Which is weird but not very sick. Then you come across the Indian sex story sites. Going through them you will understand all that is wrong with the Indian psyche, because Indians are obsessed about.....
She cleans your floors, bathrooms, clothes, privates, dishes and even cooks for you. Wait?! What?! Cleans privates?!
Maid servants are the most popular categories on these sites. Why? Nobody knows. Nobody else in the whole wide world wants to write about ‘getting with’ their maid, except us Indians.
Suddenly the whole Shiney Ahuja fiasco makes more sense...
Moral of the story : Forget your wives and daughters, somebody lock up the maids!
I understand if you fantasise about your teacher and you are a 13 year old kid. But man, if you start fantasising about your 16 old self spending some sexy time with his tuition teacher while the teacher’s husband is away for 2-3 days on a business trip, then you don’t deserve to get laid.
Also, all of them read almost the same. Teacher takes boy under her wing-calls him home one time-tells him hubby is away on trip-teaches him some very wrong things.
Moral of the story : If your teacher calls you to the place, know that it’s only to clear your “doubts”
Oookay. This is where things begin to get really very creepy.
Almost all guys, currently living in Bangalore, aged 21-25 and working in an IT company have had an encounter of the sexual kind with their cheating aunts and/or (yes and!) sister-in-law. Because, their uncles and brothers lack skills in bed, which these guys have somehow magically learnt, these ladies want to know how it feels like to be really loved. By someone who is half their age sometimes.
Moral of the story : If you know a guy currently living in Bangalore, aged 21-25 and working in an IT company, stay away girl, stay far away.
4. Milky breasts
All the ladies who might have made an appearance in the above stories have “milky breasts”. Whether that refers to the complexion, texture or something else remains a mystery. These make an appearance in every fucking story. Whatever happened to variety being the spice of life, man?
Moral of the story : Freudian theories can make everything sound 10 times sicker.