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By Vivek Ranjan in Tekk That! - On

They are in your mobile devices, your outdated computers and a few of your TVs. And now they plan on owning your Internet.

Google minions, proceeding with their employer’s plans of global domination, have recently launched balloons into the Earth’s outer atmosphere that can help provide internet connectivity to the remotest of places that currently cannot access the many joys of the Internet (porn).

Long version is below. TL;DR version at the end. For the full experience I suggest you read the whole thing. Because I worked really hard at writing it :'(

Balloons? Seriously?!

Damn straight, son! To top it all, the technology was developed in a super secret facility called Google[x]. That’s the same place where they developed the driverless car. Talk about cliches!

This specific project is called ‘Loon’.

What is Loon?

 

They launch big-ass balloons, bigger than party balloons but smaller than the hot-air kind, that fly/float in the Earth’s atmosphere at around 20 km above ground level. This is much above the height that airplanes travel. Comical collisions between balloons and jumbo jets is unfortunately off the table.

From their position up in the sky, these balloons will transmit high speed internet @ 3G-ish speeds that anyone with the right equipment will be able to access.

 

 

How Will People Access This Loon Powered Internet?

As mentioned in the last line, you need the correct equipment. Hehe. Equipment. I have the correct equipment right here in my pants, girl! If that turned you on, my contact details are mentioned after this article. Let’s do friendship (ladies only), okay?

Google will attach a red balloon-ish looking gadget to your roof that will be able to receive the signals transmitted by these balloons as long as they don’t float away and stay within range.

 

 

Float Away? That’s not very reliable.

These balloons are powered by two sources of renewable energy - solar and wind. Every balloon has a solar panel attached to itself that powers the various electronic things present onboard.

Meanwhile, winds help direct the balloons. At that height, there are two levels of wind currents flowing in opposite directions. To direct the balloons, they need to be monitored and controlled in such a way that they either stay in their positions or fly away somewhere else as required. So you can rely on them to not float away and take your internet connection with them. But as with any means of data communication, the connection or network reliability and quality might be an issue.

How do they connect to the Internet?

Simple. A ground station beams a wireless connection to them using freely available radio frequencies. They take that connection and communicate with each other thus making a network in the sky.

 

A network in the sky?

Yes. A network in the sky. SkyNet.
Next up, androids.

 

TL;DR

Google, via their secret facility called Google[x], started a project called Loon. They developed balloons that fly/float to the Earth’s atmosphere at about 20 km above the surface and transmit internet to remote places where traditional networks cannot reach. Red balloonish-orbs connected to your roof will be able to receive the signals transmitted by these balloons and provide you with high speed internet. Taking advantage of the wind currents available at that height they will stay in one place or float away as necessary while receiving internet from ground stations and creating a network in the sky.

Vivek Ranjan

Reader! Before you go, I just want to say you were fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. And you know what? So was I!

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